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Bobby the Incontinent Space Cadet

    Bobby was a young man that wasnt sure what to do with himself, day after day he would look up to the sky and wonder what the future had in store for him.  Other times he would wonder, why don't I have a roof over my house. This was typically on rainy days though, as Bobby enjoyed the sun, even when trying to sleep.  Bobby liked to watch the rocket ships used by the Space Marines and cadets fly overhead when he was lying in bed, in his roofless house.  Bobby often wondered what space was like, and dreamed of becoming a Space Cadet. They got free trips into space, got to hang out with Space Marines and they even got nifty space uniforms. What more could a boy want?  Diapers. That's what they need. Booby knew that if he became a Space Cadet, he'd visit space and get ALL the diapers he needed.

    Why you ask? Why would Bobby need diapers? 
Bobby has a very special problem. You see, when Bobby gets nervous, or angry, or even happy, he just can't hold it in. He wets himself and doesn't even feel it coming. Talking to a cute girl? Piss. Giving a speech? Pee everywhere. Bobby's parents couldn't afford all the diapers he needed, which is why they sold the roof of their house, so the rain would clean up his mess.  It is because Bobby had a pet emu. Bobby was tired of having to clean up after the emu. Diapers would solve all of hi problems! This was important, as Bobby had enough worries cleaning up after himself. It wasn't true what "they" said. Incontinence, was not bliss. Or was that ignorance? Bobby didn't care.

    It was time to become a Space Cadet. 

    Bobby knew he needed a plan. He needed to find a way to get into the Space Cadets. To him, the best way to do this was to use his emu as a distraction while he snuck past the Space Marines. The emu stank, it would mask his foul urine odor very well. 
Bobby's only other problem, was his skills with yaks. The space program knew how often people would try and sneak in, so they employed a hear of rabid yaks to protect their base borders. NOW the questions was, how does one defeat or sneak past a yak army?

Bobby was a very clever lad. He knew that yaks have a fatal weakness. They either love emu dung or they hate it. Bobby could never remember which. He considered coating himself in emu excrement. Or maybe he should coat his emu in its own excrement to trigger a stampede?

    "What would you do?" he asked aloud to Knuckbuckles, his emu of love. 

    Knuckbuckles, was fortunately a very intelligent emu. So he responded, "Rub yourself with my excrement. After all, the worst that could happen is you make many new yak friends. At best, they stampede and destroy the fence holding you out. There is a possible side effect Bobby. Be warned!", Knuckbuckles whispered so not to be heard by his arch enemy, Flax the gnat, "I was exposed as an egg to creepy blue goo. That has made my excrement VERY potent. You might become blue tinged if you do not clean off quickly." 

    Bobby frowned. If he turned blue, what chance would he have with Clarice, the beautiful cheerleader for the Space Cadets bowling team? She already ran away from him whenever he got near. One day she said hello to him while they rode the elevator, which caused him to urinate all over her leg. That was the closest he's ever been to a woman. He'd tried to explain himself, and she was avoiding him. He reasoned that she was shy and madly in love with him.

    "Alright talking emu, let's do this! Clarice will realize how much she loves me when I'm a Space Cadet!" Bobby was excited, and knew that with a good set of diapers she would be all his. 
Bobby took our his emergency high potency fiber bars for Knuckbuckles, and knew it was time. He stripped down to his underwear, knowning that it didn't matter if it was Knuckbuckles or himself that caused them to be soiled.

    After feeding the bar to Knuckbuckles, he moved under his best emu friend and waited. But little did he know that Flax was up to something.

Flax the gnat hated love, and he really, really really hated Space Cadets. But the one thing he hated more than Space Cadets were Space Marines, for blowing up his epic space nest filled with blue goo. Flax needed emu excrement for his experiments and refining blue goo. This pissy teenager was going to ruin everything! Or maybe, he could use this incontinent little idiot to spread his evil across space!  Flax knew his time was limited to put his new plan into motion. He could feel the familiar rumbling inside Knuckbuckles. It was going to be close, but if he succeeded, Flax would be the envy of all gnat overlords everywhere. And THAT was worth risking it all.

    Flax dawned his snokel, and goggles and begin moving to the south end of Knuckbuckles. "Let's do this."

Knucklebuckle groaned as the fiber tore through his insides, the bloating and cramps making it difficult to stand. For a long time he had been infected by the blue goo, and it ravaged his digestion, feeding on the hearty fiber bars. He felt embarassed, but because of the goo's taint he was unable to control himself. Curse that Flax, he thought. I could be normal and maybe another emu would understand me. All I can do is get this kid into space, and that's exactly what I will do!  Knucklebuckles took up his position and waited. The familiar rumbling began, and Bobby closed his eyes and mumbled his silent wish that this would get him into the academy.

    Flax knew as well, that phase one of operation Moon Poop was beginning. With his equipment on, his plans (and his blue goo) in motion, Flax took a deep breath and mentally counted down to launch.

    Five. Knucklebuckles moaned.

    Four. The familiar sounds of grunting began.

    Three. A pungent odor escaped.

    Two. Flax braced himself.

    One. Bobby thought to himself, "Maybe I shouldn't have fed Knucklebuckle those spicy burritos last night."


Flax jumped with the first cascades of reeking blue emu refuse. For a brief moment, he wondered if infecting emus with blue goo was actually a good idea. He'd never considered the necessity of swimming in it before. It was disgusting.

    Bobby flinched as the hot, steaming mass hit him at full speed, its stinging fluid seeping into every pore. Bobby closed his eyes and held his nose until he was sure the tirade was over. He stood, rubbing the blue crap into his skin. He nodded to Knucklebuckle, and went to face the herd of yaks. Flax snickered with glee. 
Flax now decided it was a good time to go over the plan. After all, as blue stink boy sneaks in, all will be well, unless blue poo kid pees himself again and washes the poo off. And to distract himself from thinking too much about what he's snorkelling in. Oh! Corn at 4 O' Clock!

    YES. The plan. The plan to hold the world's water supply hostage! All he needed was a way to capture it all.

    Thankfully the Space Marine's new super ultra awesome nano quantum absorbant version 3.2 diapers being able to hold one hundred thousand liters each. These were the key. If he could capture a mass shipment and use it on the oceans and lakes, ALL the water would be Flax's!

    Flax's reviewing and reverie was short lived however. Bobby's legs were crossed and was holding himself and hobling forward while whimpers and mumbbling "Hold it! Don't! Don't think of rivers, taps or waterfalls, or even the rain!"

Bobby had to clear about a kilometer of yak-filled fields to get to the Space Cadet's ship. He stumbled onwards, squinting his eyes shut from the effort of having to hold it in. It was the moment of truth.

    "GOO!" bellowed the closest yak as he approached the herd. The rest scrambled in a crazed stampede away from Bobby. Flax watched with a calculated satisfaction. The herd of yaks was over-running the Space Marines and their picket lines, leaving the way to the ship clear. Bobby stumbled along, almost oblivious to it all. 

    Bobby's focus was only to make it to the enrollment desk. He MUST become a marine. Those diapers were everything. The key to his freedom and winning the heart of Clarice. Just the thought of having a chance with her renewed his will to hold the urine in. After all, if he couldn't hold is pee when required, how would he hold it for Clarice, to show her his love, and to mark his territory.

    And of course the excitement of it all was getting to Bobby. He was getting close to his limit. But press on he did.

Flax was pleased by the incontinent boy's progress. He could see the entrance to the proud ship. The registration desk was not far away. All he had to do was get inside the ship, and escape Bobby before he pissed himself and was evicted from the Space Cadet base.

    "State your intentions, boy!" a female voice barked harshly. Great, though Flax. A woman, now he'll pee his pants and I'll never get to those amazing space diapers. Flax could see cover behind the desk. But how could Bobby make it that far?

    "I'm here to be a Space Cadet! You can already see how resourceful I can be," the young man said, head held high and a thick crust of emu shit drying on his skin. 
"My god! Holy shit!" cried the seargent. "The fabled holy shit of the planet Doodoonia. Thought lost and extinct after being destroyed by the Flax, over 300 years ago!"

    NO! Screached Flax into his mind. They CANNOT discover me NOW!

He could not have prepared himself for what happened next.

    A loud, girly shreik penetrated the room, shaking the stench and interrupting the stand-off. Bobby spun to see Clairice at the entrance to the compound, wrapped in skin-tight space spandex. Her pert breasts defied gravity. "You sick freak!" she screamed, throwing an anti-grav baton at him. "You are disgusting and nasty!"

    Flax almost shat himself at the sound of her wailing voice. What an excuisite creature! She must be on my side, and providing me with a cover, he thought. Maybe she was sent by the Scat Overlord, he mused.


    With a wink to Flax, and a sway of her hips, Clairice took a few steps forwards and took a swing at Bobby. Clairice was a master swinger, and timing it and missing very so slightly, enough to hit Flax and send him flying to the vent across behind the seargent.

    Flax relished, with a minor concussion, and knew he was smart to plant the backup. But he couldn't have realized, using Spys R Us that his random plant would be a SHE.

Bobby stammered, unable to contain himself. A yellow spray of emu shit tinged uring gushed forward, soaking Clarice's knee-high white stockings. "Clairice! What are you doing here? I'm enlisting in the Space Cadets! It's okay, you can admit your love for me now, we can go into space together and be happy forever!"

    "You disgusting little creep! Those were my good stockings! You've ruined my date with the football team!" She screamed at him, stomping her wet shoes. The sergeant was too absorbed in trying to get a sample from Bobby's crusty skin to notice or care about the outburst.

Meanwhile Flax crawled ever forward through the ventilation shafts. Closer and closer he moved, dodging lasers, and avoiding  the ever present shit sensors that were designed to detect the most faint feces. Flax surmised that he had overloaded the censors, his emu pawn had been a most wise investment, despite it taking the last of his nefarious blue goo. The end of the tunnel was in sight! Soon, the diapers would be his!  Flax crawled onword, ignoring the screams behind him as Bobby trying to explain and sort hi way into the academy. Flax did not care, the longer Bobby continues the more of a chance he would have at reaching the super absorbant diapers. Flax only hoped that he was heading the right way, but he wasn't.

    Finally Flax reached the end of the vents! He eyes began to water, not at the sight of a beautiful sight of well stored diapers, but at the smell. No! This cannot be right! He found himself in the USED diaper section. All diapers, being recycled and drained of their fluids for processing.

    "Curses! I must find the right storage room!" Flax mumbled as he decended into floor, searching for a sign of which way he should go to escape the horrible fumes that threatend to overwhelm even his superior abilities.

Meanwhile, Bobby was embroiled in heated negotiations with Sargent Slippy and Clarice. Clarice kept looking him over with large, soft eyes. Bobby took this to mean that he had succeeded in his conquest, and that she was his! Now, for the uniform.

    "Clearly I am a worthy candidate. I brought you the blue goo poo. Now, the diapers. Where are they?" Bobby know what he wanted. They wouldn't get in his way. Then, he might indulge in a shower after he had his way with Clarice.

Bobby stood tall, man bits blowing in the wind, hair crusty and wanting. He bellowed "I am a size small and demand my uniform now!"


    The sergeant looked him over and started to laugh. "You're going nowhere until we get every precious drop of blue poo off of you."

    "And keep away from me you icky creep!" Clairice screamed. Bobby thought she was obviously aroused.

    "Alright, fine. Where to?" Bobby conceded, defeated.

    "To Diaper Storage and Processing! This way. Don't let the crust escape your hair!" 
~Page x~
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